Blog Post #10: Why I Chose to Follow My Heart Instead of my Head

All of my life I have been told to have back up plans, to go to college so you can be employable, work hard now, so that you can retire and enjoy life later on, and on and on. I have played by these rules for quite some time now, and would say that I have achieved a few admirable and note worthy accomplishments, but deep down inside I have known for a few years what it is that I really want to be doing, and what difference I want to make in this lifetime. Was I willing to jeopardize losing all these material goods I had come to collect over the years in my delusion of thinking these things were the measure of my successes? No, I wasn't ready. I was chicken. I was scared of the opinions of my family, friends, and peers. Scared for my loved ones who would act more worried than I ever was when I told them what my life work consisted of.

I kept my head down and carried on. Not to say that I didn't have fulfillment in my Army life, but every morning while driving on to Fort Bragg Army Base I would listen to my favorite podcasts. I haven't missed a podcast from my favorite thought leaders and inspirational entrepreneurs for almost 3 years now. Even at the gym while everyone else is listening to music I am getting pumped up over an audio book or a podcast, just laughing away or imagining that I am there in the studio with them marinating over ideas that could potentially change peoples lives. Yes, I am that nerd in the gym strutting around with my audio books on repeat. Ha! My Soldiers at the time would have to hear my motivational speeches and Socratic method of  questioning at all hours of the day! Weapons cleaning time turned into my regurgitation of what I had learned while listening to my daily podcasts. :)

It finally dawned on me. This is what I need to be focusing on. Coaching, mentoring, and helping those who need and want the confidence to step into their best selves and their best life. Not the pat on the back, or the go get em tiger, you got this son... but the real accountability. Where we set up measurable and attainable goals to get to that one big goal or breakthrough in life.  It isn't all boot camp and ass kicking (unless that is what motivates you), it is about figuring out your own operating system and what kinds of environments that you thrive in and what really feeds your soul, and what obstacles and barriers that you personally need to face head on in order to climb that giant mountain and post your flag at the summit.

After transitioning out of the Army my resume was pretty stacked in my opinion.. I was impressed, but I realized all of the things listed on my resume didn't align with my above goals and aspirations. Could I do both? Yes, but both would be half-assed, and I would probably burn out and quit. The Army taught me this catch 22 quality. How to be motivated to do just about anything, because being a leader it is your responsibility to keep the morale high and the troops motivated, so naturally my brain looks for all the good in every situation to keep my soldiers going steady. This is a great quality when jumping out of an airplane with 25 of your soldiers behind you ready to jump and complete a hardcore airborne training mission, but does this quality serve me when going out and looking for a job? Should I really have to hunt for the good stuff and dig really deep to find the positive in a job position that sounds like a nightmare? In February I had three job interviews for management positions in booming companies. Salaries offered ranged from $85,000-$100,000 a year. I even had one company fly me to their headquarters and interviewed me (for what seemed like 10 hours) and the president and VP took me to dinner. Talk about hospitality! Did I take the job, well obviously not. I realized that I would be playing the corporate America game working for a company that I really didn't have any interest in what they did. My heart wasn't in it, but my head was. My head was was analyzing all the bills I could pay off and all of the nice things I could buy with that kind of a salary. WRONG MOTIVE, but trust me I thought long and hard about three different job offers before finally making up my mind to follow my heart and become a Confidence and Accountability Coach. Am I making money doing this right now? Ugh, no. I am still getting my "coaching certification" and I have much to learn about it all. My heart is 100% in it though, and that feeling means the most to me.

So with all that being said that is why I am asking for donations at this time, because I didn't take the blood sucking corporate high paying job and instead I am grinding my way to my dreams, putting my heart on the line. I had a choice, and a fortunate set of circumstances to be able to follow my path. Your help and encouragement really means a lot to me at this vulnerable time in my life.

I know we all can't follow our dreams, but we can all grind. We can all have a side hustle, that who knows, may eventually turn into a full time gig. Never drown our the heart with the chatter of the head. Much Love.

Be Beautiful. Be Brave.

XOXO,